Back in 2009 when FastTrack Fit Camp was still a young thing, Vida and I used to bulk up class numbers at new locations with family members. This meant that we had a posse of people who kind of knew what they were doing so newbies didn’t feel that they were the only thing that we were paying attention to.
There were a few times when only family members appeared because it was hammering with rain or a Bank Holiday evening when no one else wanted to come out and play. We jokingly called this ‘family rules’. A motto that basically meant if only family turned up, the class didn’t need to run. The motto stuck and it’s still common for long standing Fit Campers to suggest a ‘family rules’ night if not many show despite not being a family member!
These rules stick fast.
It reminded me this week how our family beliefs about us can hang around way longer than is useful or true.
Yesterday we had a family funeral to attend in Weston-super-Mare. I was to take my sister and we were meeting our Dad down there.
I got a text from my Dad on Wednesday night suggesting that if I couldn’t find the house to get my sister to navigate as she’d be better at it than I was! It really made me smile.
As a kid I was a bit rubbish at knowing where I was going and it became a running commentary in my life that I was clueless at map reading and navigating. You start to believe it after a while and there were times when I’d ask my Dad which way I had to go the night before and write it all out in case I got lost.
But we move on, we manage in spite of it or get on with it regardless and for me, having spent the last 20 years moving around between gyms, clients and Fit Camp event locations, I think I’ve progressed. I’ve never not got to a place I wanted to yet!
At the same time my sister is known for being the loud one. Yes, she can belt out a laugh that stops a busy pub, but she’s not like it all the time. We learn appropriate behaviour. She was quite the epitome of decorum yesterday!
It made me wonder how I’d impacted my kids with these kinds of phrases and what they still believe. And really how any of this stuff can stop us from making progress because we still believe these ‘family rules’.
Which of these resonate? They don’t need to be negative either…
- The messy one?
- The hungry one?
- Useless with money?
- The lazy one?
- The clever one?
- The pretty one?
- Fidgety one?
- The stroppy teenager?
- The daydreamer?
- The sporty one?
- The loud one?
You get the idea.
When clients find Fit Camp hard or changing their eating habits a challenge, it often comes back to something like this. A passing comment that, as a child, had a big impact on us and we’re still carrying.
Next time you hear yourself referred to in one of these ways or decide that you can’t do something because you’ve been told it all your life, ask yourself if it’s still really true. Chances are you’ve moved on and the family rules have been changed. It’s just that no one else has been updated!
Just like me. I find Google Maps a way better associate than my sister or co-passenger. It gets me there every time!
Have a great weekend. Fingers crossed for a glimpse of blue sky and dry spells. Summer will be here soon, surely?!
FastTrack Fit Camp is an outdoor fitness business with the focus on improving people on the inside so they feel good on the outside. In 2019 FastTrack Fit Camp became a Social Enterprise and committed to distribute a minimum of 50% of profits back to community environmental projects each year with the goal of helping our local citizens feel good whilst being outside too.