Friday with Heidi: Do as Churchill did…

” keep buggering on” | the advice to someone who finds themselves in an impossible situation. Winston Churchill used to tell his associates to KBO

Several years ago I had a massage client that I visited weekly. She was in her nineties. She lived alone and my massage visits were for a chat and connection more than the treatment. 

She was in a wheelchair and struggled physically but her brain was sharp and she was frustrated, challenged and exhausted from not being able to live the life she was used to. She would often tell herself ‘KBO’. 

I’d not heard the phrase before and she told me that Winston Churchill used it when times got tough…

How is lockdown v3.0 affecting you? 

From conversations with clients and colleagues it’s not the same this year is it? 

We’re in a ‘been there, done that‘ phase of something which doesn’t have the same exciting, shiny newness that it did in March. Back then we had lots to adjust to and lots to learn. This meant some challenges but, I think, the uniqueness of it, the fabulous Spring weather and the ignorance around just how long it would last, made it (with hindsight) quite enjoyable!

Now many feel like we’re in a Groundhog Day. 

People I’ve spoken to feel tired, despite the Christmas holidays and not quite as chirpy as maybe they would be in January. They feel like they’re just managing to survive the restrictions rather than thrive within them. They’re struggling to find resilience within themselves. 

When I look at those people who thrived in lockdown v1, whether they knew it or not, they were all doing the same thing. They were meeting their basic needs each day. Meeting our basic needs is like strengthening our roots of resilience.

If you’ve found yourself to be tetchy, critical, unusually introverted, overwhelmed, acting like a martyr or a victim, tearful or exhausted – the first thing to ask is ‘am I meeting my basic needs EACH day?‘. 

When you snap at the kids is it because you are hungry because you missed lunch because you were on calls all morning?

If you feel exhausted are you sleeping enough? Drinking enough? Moving your body enough?

If you feel overwhelmed by lockdown are you missing connection? Quiet time? Outside time? 

There are no correct answers here, but understanding which of our most basic needs aren’t being met when we’re triggered, will help us to get through lockdown 3 stronger. 

Whilst you are in this space of reflection, also look back at the last 9 months and see where you excelled. Where did you have resilience? Seeing where you did well will help you to progress through this next phase too.

I’ve done this exercise and I came up with a few.

I did well with getting enough sleep. After years of very disrupted sleep I’ve eventually mastered the dark art of 8 hours a night. This one thing alone helped me to stay grounded, healthy and in pretty much the same shape despite a less than active 9 months. This lockdown I am going to ensure I stick with that. 

I did well in taking time off. After years of being infront of my screen or infront of Fit Camp sessions or network meetings I had more time to take time off. That gap allowed me to see more opportunities, think clearer and remain calm. This lockdown I am going to use my time off differently, maybe cook more new recipes, read more books, do more exercise (see next point!)

I was pretty poor at establishing an exercise routine. With my favoured strength training gym closed I flopped about between running, some walking and, not until August, a gym membership in Wokingham. This time I am going to be better at this. Not perfect, just better. 

I was really bad at getting outside as much as I like. The Zoom Fit Camp sessions have been great for me to stay connected to my clients, but it kept me inside more. I  have been able to go outside at times and run my sessions from the garden but the weather, and wind whistling over the microphone, don’t always make this a workable solution. So this lockdown I am getting out each day for a walk. Outside is truly my happy place. 

So what about you? 

What did you do really well last time?

Where can you improve? 

And what were your triggers and behaviours telling you about getting your needs met? Do you need to be outside each day? Do you need to make sure you move away from your desk to get more creative? Do you just need to drink a glass of water to keep calm when the kids ask ‘what’s for dinner?’.

However, when all else fails, when the wine is shouting more loudly than the sparkling water, remember Churchill and remind yourself KBO….

To your very best week and weekend of the year so far 🙂

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